Sunday, December 30, 2012

Not Your Stereotypical New Year's Resolution

Recently I have realized that nearly every aspect of my life is in total disarray. It would be nice to make a few New Year's Resolutions to try and rectify things, but I fear that is not enough. I need a total life overhaul. 

 For starters, I am making a conscious decision not smoke anymore. I realize it is unrealistic to expect I can just quit cold turkey, and never touch another one. But with the help of my family and friends I feel that this is something I can do. My Uncle Dominic died in 2010 after living many many years with only one lung, and here I am taking both of mine for granted. Not cool. My 81 year old Gram is struggling every day to breathe as she is missing half of one of her lungs. I can no longer abuse mine while she is suffering. 

My finances are a mess. I have never been one to plan for the future but the older I get the more I realize I need some kind of safety net. After this summer I will have a significant portion of my debt paid off and from there  I can begin saving. Better late than never, right?

My health is a mess. I am not going to go into specific detail on this blog, but I will say I am in need of some medical services that I am totally unable to afford without health insurance. That old phrase "pre-existing condition" keeps rearing its ugly head. But hopefully this summer I will be able to afford at least a modest health care plan. Eventually I hope to have surgery to correct my right shoulder, among other things. 

My personal relationships with some friends and family also seem to be a mess. I have let some slip into the cracks and I need to rectify these situations. I have to put my personal pride aside and deal with certain conflicts. It won't be easy but I'll do it. 

My belongings are always a mess, but I have truly been making great strides this year in minimizing the crap that I own. I got rid of about 5 car loads of stuff this past fall when I downsized my storage unit. I am unable to get rid of everything as there are certain things of sentimental value. I feel that the next time I go I will be able to downsize further and finally be able to remove my excess crap from Gram's house and put it all into my tiny 5x5 storage unit. Sometimes it is hard to let go of physical objects, but it is freeing once you do. My biggest fear is ending up like one of those crazy people on Hoarders, crying over throwing away a piece of trash. So I routinely force myself to purge my belongings. And I think I am better for it. 

Currently I am in a situation that is less than ideal, but the end is in sight. I can survive anything and I have much more patience than I give myself credit for. On the negative side, I can hardly afford food after paying my monthly bills. But on the positive side, I have lost ten pounds this month. You win some, you lose some. 

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