The Internet is Scary.

Recently, while attempting to internet stalk my missing cousin, I discovered some frightening things about the internet. Not only did the magical internet find lots of records for my cousin, but it knew we were related. When I clicked on my own name, I was even more disturbed to see how much the internet knows about me.

There are a number of directory "aggregate" sites which compile information about you. I am currently in the process of deleting my name and info from as many sites as possible. One of the scariest is called spokeo.com. This website knows your age, your address (and any prior addresses). It knows your relatives, your phone number, and scariest of all, it shows a google image of your house. It also tells your credit score and the value of your home. It's disturbing. So far I have discovered this is the way to remove yourself from spokeo.com

Here's how to remove your name:

1. Go to Spokeo.com and type in your name.
2. Copy the URL when it brings up your information
3. Go to the bottom of the page and click on "privacy"
4. Paste the URL in the box provided
5. Include your email address (it gives you further instructions via email)
6. Enter the code
7. Go to your email and click on the link they provide to you
8. Confirm the directory listing has been deleted
9. Go back to Spokeo.com and put in your name to be sure it was deleted

Do yourself a favor and start googling yourself. So far I have removed myself from mylife.com and spokeo. I am in the process of trying to remove myself from peekyou.com

I am learning quickly that there is an endless supply of information about me on the internet. If all these "aggregate" sites are getting all my info there must be more out there than I will ever know about. 

Dear Alyssa Milano...

Dear Alyssa Milano,


Please stop begging me for money to save the children. I appreciate the work you are doing for UNICEF, but I do not have any money to spare. Last week I sold all my jewelry to put gas in my tank and food in my stomach. This week I had to spend all of my christmas money on an awesome trip to a walk-in clinic on new year's eve because of my sinus infection from hell.

Long story short, Alyssa, I do not have 50 cents a day to send you to feed that adorable little starving child. Begging me at every single commercial break is not going to change the fact that I do not have any money to send you. Please stop. Seriously.

I bet you are still earning royalties for Who's the Boss and Charmed re-runs. And I see you are now making Lifetime made-for-TV movies. I am sure you can spare enough change for the both of us.

While you're at it, tell Sarah Mclachlan to knock it off with the ASPCA commercials. I give all my spare change to the animal shelter whenever I see a donation can around town. Singing sappy songs and showing injured puppies does not make me want to donate it makes me want to change the channel.

Sincerely,
  Audrey